Mattel Announces Release Of Limited Edition
Barbie Dolls For The South Orange Country California Market:
Huntington Beach Barbie --
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with pimped out Scion ultramini-van and matching jogging suit. She gets lost easily and has no apparent occupation or secondary education. May come with assorted tattoos, Ed Hardy gear, Black Fly glasses, Pay Pal account, ugly dogs, bad temper, and a fondness for French fries and Jagermeister. Traffic-hazard cell phone and skateboard sold separately. Can swear in English and/or ‘Surf Jive’.
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with pimped out Scion ultramini-van and matching jogging suit. She gets lost easily and has no apparent occupation or secondary education. May come with assorted tattoos, Ed Hardy gear, Black Fly glasses, Pay Pal account, ugly dogs, bad temper, and a fondness for French fries and Jagermeister. Traffic-hazard cell phone and skateboard sold separately. Can swear in English and/or ‘Surf Jive’.
HB Ken comes with tats,
trucker hat, Buck Knife, chain wallet, and oversized four wheeler with iron
cross stickers. Available at any ‘Heartland’ Target.
Harbor Boulevard Barbie--
This recently paroled Barbie comes in ultra thick platform sandals and a cutoff denim hotpants ensemble, with a switch-blade knife, crack pipe, and phony ID accessories. A very limited edition, Boulevard Barbie covers the entire length of Harbor Boulevard, from Costa Mesa to La Habra, in her 1979 Trans Am with black tinted windows, and is made of much more durable material than the other OC Barbies. This model is only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you’re a cop, then we have no idea what you are talking about.
Corona Del Mar Barbie--
This smart looking and fashion forward Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or tricked out Range Rover. Included are her collection of personal Starbucks cups, 32 piece credit card set, Pelican Hill Spa Platinum Membership, a case of Far Niente Pinot Noir, and a trust fund attorney. Golden retriever and Broadcom stock certificates come separately. Also available are Shallow Ken, Spanish-speaking Nanny, and Vietnamese manicurist.
Harbor Boulevard Barbie--
This recently paroled Barbie comes in ultra thick platform sandals and a cutoff denim hotpants ensemble, with a switch-blade knife, crack pipe, and phony ID accessories. A very limited edition, Boulevard Barbie covers the entire length of Harbor Boulevard, from Costa Mesa to La Habra, in her 1979 Trans Am with black tinted windows, and is made of much more durable material than the other OC Barbies. This model is only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you’re a cop, then we have no idea what you are talking about.
Corona Del Mar Barbie--
This smart looking and fashion forward Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or tricked out Range Rover. Included are her collection of personal Starbucks cups, 32 piece credit card set, Pelican Hill Spa Platinum Membership, a case of Far Niente Pinot Noir, and a trust fund attorney. Golden retriever and Broadcom stock certificates come separately. Also available are Shallow Ken, Spanish-speaking Nanny, and Vietnamese manicurist.
Newport Beach Barbie--
This exceptionally
privileged Barbie comes with an extensive accessory collection that includes
oversized diamond ring set, 300 pair shoe collection, perfectly matching
designer outfits, and a spacious Newport Coast or Lido Island playhouse. Comes
complete with choice of convertible Mercedes or Bentley coupe, Cabo tan, Botox
treatments, Don Juan yacht party invites, and Beverly Hills divorce lawyer on
retainer. Most Newport models have standard breast, nose and dental
enhancements. Available at any Nieman-Marcus, or at special semi-private
seasonal events at The Ritz restaurant.
Newport Beach Princess Barbie--
This OMG doll has long straight blonde hair, a very short mini-skirt, Versace, Fendi, Missoni, and Moschino tube-tops, Volcom cutoff tee shirts, and six colors of UGG boots. She comes with her own Gucci sun glasses paved with rhinestones. She does not need or even want a Surfer Ken doll, because so many other 'Kens' are available to pay her way. A matching pink beach-cruiser bike and iPhone complete the NBPB set. Workaholic older semi-boyfriend on blow Ken comes with, like, a new Porsche Carrera. DUI lawyer Ken and Semi-Annual Rehab outfits sold separately.
This OMG doll has long straight blonde hair, a very short mini-skirt, Versace, Fendi, Missoni, and Moschino tube-tops, Volcom cutoff tee shirts, and six colors of UGG boots. She comes with her own Gucci sun glasses paved with rhinestones. She does not need or even want a Surfer Ken doll, because so many other 'Kens' are available to pay her way. A matching pink beach-cruiser bike and iPhone complete the NBPB set. Workaholic older semi-boyfriend on blow Ken comes with, like, a new Porsche Carrera. DUI lawyer Ken and Semi-Annual Rehab outfits sold separately.
Laguna Beach Barbie--
This popular doll comes
with all natural hemp clothing made by a Mayan cooperative for an Italian
Designer, natural hair color, rainbow producing crystal mood jewelry, and open
toe shoes. Laguna Barbie includes a complete Roxy beach togs & accessories
ensemble, Nature Conservancy membership, case of BV Chardonnay, large French glass jar of
‘DaKine Kush bud’, four cats, and new Audi with Laguna parking permit and board
racks. This model comes in a cool variety of basic outfits, including prophetic
artist, mermaid loving surfer girl, or stoned & loaded trust fund babe, and
is available exclusively at Mother’s Natural Foods, Toes On The Nose, or Trader
Joes.
Laguna Nigel Barbie--
This domestic princess
Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom in the Irvine Spectrum.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long haired foreign lap-dog named Tiffy, Ritz-Carlton Tennis Club/Spa membership, St. Regis pool privileges, and a cul-de-sac dream house with Jacuzzi and lawn service. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long haired foreign lap-dog named Tiffy, Ritz-Carlton Tennis Club/Spa membership, St. Regis pool privileges, and a cul-de-sac dream house with Jacuzzi and lawn service. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift.
Tustin Hills /San Juan Capistrano Barbie--
This freckled and fair skinned model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small and a swallow tattoo on her shoulder. She drinks Coors Light long necks and knows the words to every Hank Williams, Jr. song. She can spit over 6 feet and kick Ken's ass when she is well into her Jack & Coke. Purchase her Dodge Hemi Ram pickup truck separately and get a complete Stars & Stripes-Support the Troops bumper sticker/antenna flag/ license plate frame set absolutely free. Available only at Wal-Mart and CVS.
Santa Ana (sanTana) Barbie--
This sassy Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a cherry pinstriped 1987 Impala with expired temporary plates y two babies & a toddler in the back, all without car seats. This is the only Barbie willing to do manual labor, and kick it hard with the homeboys. Has ‘Yo Amor Puppet por Vida’ tattoo. Matching Santa Ana Ken comes with a weed whacker, lawn mower and leaf blower, lottery ticket, Machete, and a primered ’49 Packard. Green cards are not yet available for Santa Ana Barbie or Ken. Available at any 99¢ Store or check cashing place.
This sassy Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a cherry pinstriped 1987 Impala with expired temporary plates y two babies & a toddler in the back, all without car seats. This is the only Barbie willing to do manual labor, and kick it hard with the homeboys. Has ‘Yo Amor Puppet por Vida’ tattoo. Matching Santa Ana Ken comes with a weed whacker, lawn mower and leaf blower, lottery ticket, Machete, and a primered ’49 Packard. Green cards are not yet available for Santa Ana Barbie or Ken. Available at any 99¢ Store or check cashing place.
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